:: 1.41421356237 ::

:: Tuesday, July 31, 2001 ::

hmm...went to amuse this morning to buy scores to brahms's two rhapsodies, op. 79, and beethoven's first piano concerto in C major, the first movement of which i may end up playing. i'm tired as heck. don't know why...maybe just sleepy. probably just sleepy. have to tutor at 3...for an hour. my student can't write sentences in english...and it's hectic. i end up talking to him in chinese b/c he can't really understand my english. otherwise, i didn't do much else. well, i played piano. *yawn* again. i think i'm going to fall asleep when i'm tutoring. my mom says i have to exercise more so that i won't be so tired always. i tend to disagree. i'm going to go now...maybe catch a wink or two of sleep before three. i want to go rent thirteen days and watch it...seems like a good movie, plus matt's profile keeps on telling me to watch it. ok, catch you guys later!

:: sqroot2 7/31/2001 02:32:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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okay, time for a reasonably-sized post after three previous consecutive short posts!

i went to visit vicky at the aerospace corp. today! i was late, though--she'd finished her lunch break by the time i had gotten there. no matter, she still took me down (dragged?) to the cafeteria where i got a tremendously greasy and delicious aerospace burger--basically a cheeseburger with bacon and the usual lettuce, tomato, onions, and pickle slices. so lunch was completely fulfilling. aerospace has a pretty cool technical library, though i didn't really get to explore it much. i was introduced to richard, ping, and brian, all of whom seem cool. much energy was expended in playing with a paper frog that vicky had made (she was doing her work); i realized that if i used my styrofoam burger box as a launching pad for mr. froggie, he'd go much higher. he cleared a pad of small post-it notes atop an empty peach snapple glass bottle which i watched drop at the vending machine. i was actually quite proud of him. come to think of it, he's still in my pocket. ok. now he's out! what a brave little frog. anyway, the aerospace corporation also has nice staircases and elevators that are rather private, because i guess not many people frequent those two locales, or better, types of locales. all for the better 0;)!

after vicky said that they had filmed scenes from eraser at the aerospace corp., i borrowed it today from the library and watched it. i think i know which scene was filmed at the aerospace corp. still you can't really see the building, but oh well. good movie! especially the concept of the rail-gun--seeing through walls and shooting through them, too. they have that gun (farsight xr-20) in perfect dark.

i also bought a few records at the library...good quality ones! so new, barely any scratches. um...that's all i did today. so, i'm getting a little woozy...will go soon. that's all for this post, talk to you guys later!

:: sqroot2 7/30/2001 11:00:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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ARCHIVES WORKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:: sqroot2 7/29/2001 07:12:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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much cheered after i talked with vicky on phone. :) so...maybe will visit her at aerospace corp. tomorrow, don't know. talk to you guys later, taking sis to her apt at USC soon...catch you guys later!

:: sqroot2 7/29/2001 07:06:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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going to practice driving with dad at marineland now...talk to you all later.

:: sqroot2 7/29/2001 03:49:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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i woke up really late today...at eleven. ate breakfast, then argued with mom as to watching a movie with the four. my mom said, "just tell them no--i don't have a reason". *sigh*! :( plus they rescheduled to see the score b/c i couldn't make it at 3, which vicky doesn't particularly want to see. what the hell is wrong with my mom!?!? she's being such a bitch. i'm disappointed, no shit! *sigh* why??? what does my mom have against my going? and she's so callous about it too. and she said i could go yesterday. i said i wouldn't go to laser trek so that i could go today...ended up i didn't go to either. sad and disappointed. i feel like crying.

:: sqroot2 7/29/2001 01:33:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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back, after riding at pier with vicky and cindy...the rest of our families were just walking. to symf.

what's there to bitch about? result--didn't win anything in baroque, won third place (out of four contestants) in the young cellist category. not spectacular, by any means. first the baroque. what can i say? there were five people in the category, all got an award except for me. why?!??!? i was by far the most qualified among the five; my piece was the hardest there was among the five. if anything, my tone quality sucked--but it had never been so bad before. why was it so bad today? after hours of practicing, where i'd been satisfied with my own playing? why so many questions? not the feeling of losing, but the feeling that the judges ranked ANY ONE of the other four contestants above me. why did my tone quality have to be impure on the one day that it counted the most? why did the judges not see past that, instead of ranking me LAST in a category that i should have swept??? feel the frustration! what i put here is only a fraction of what i felt.

on to the young cellist category, four contestants. there was one young girl, daughter of a favored symf teacher/helper. 9 years old, playing probably the easiest concerto acceptable to be played (you have to play one movement from any standard concerto)--haydn C major concerto, movement one. another girl played elgar's concerto, fourth movement. then a guy played eduard lalo's concerto, first movement. then i was last, dvorak's concerto, first movement. i was satisfied with my performance, still am. it's the best i've ever done. the little 9-year old played well for her age. i cannot say that i could have done the same--because i started cello at age 8. but give me the experience of the years she has played, and i would have done just as well. that i am sure of. she did not play spectacularly. the elgar girl played well; so did the guy playing lalo (maybe 13). dvorak's certainly the hardest of all of the pieces. BY FUCKING FAR! there are practically no concertos harder than dvorak's concerto. here is not a question of how well i played or my tone quality, but rather the judges' decision. by my standards, i played the dvorak better than the girl played elgar--and dvorak is harder, too. the order of winning: the lalo guy, me, the little girl, and then the elgar girl in first. WHY DIDN'T THE JUDGES BASE THEIR DECISIONS ON MUSICIANSHIP??? fine, they thought the little caucasian doll-girl was oh-so-cute and played on her tiny cello so well for her age. well, fuck her! she still has six years 'till she gets to my age, and take her musicianship then and you may rank her above me, thank you very much. i don't CARE if she plays well for her age, why didn't they judge according to MUSIC? judge the fucking music! not the age! fuck haydn c major. and because her mom's a SYMF favorite? fuck it all.

horrible day in terms of rightful indignation. of all days for my playing to sound scratchy--and why didn't i get judges who actually PLAYED cello for the young cellist category. then they'd know how much more work dvorak takes than elgar (and i did look at the score). i don't feel much like music anymore. maybe i'll have changed my mind my next week or next year; maybe i won't. *sigh*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! vicky, that's why i wasn't sounding too great on the phone today. and, in the words of clockwork orange nadsat, "and all that cal". and all that shit.

okay. taht was the main part of my blog. eating sister's leftover oreo cream pie from denny's. it's quite fattening--most of the cake is just whipped cream--but who gives a fuck. i get to indulge myself. if i drank, now would be the time to drink. fuck symf! i need a fucking break. fuck is a funny word. i haven't said it aloud yet. code of honor? i dont' care now, dont' give a fuck. i type it all the time. fuck. and shift back, control c, control v control v control v control v control v........

mom will let me go tomorrow! ...i think. i hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bye pplz.

:: sqroot2 7/28/2001 10:45:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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not happy with symf judging. but who's there to bitch at. talk to y'all later, will blog in more detail..

:: sqroot2 7/28/2001 03:29:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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ya know what, the mp3s are just humongous. okay, that's a funny word to spell. vicky says it's humongous. too lazy to get the dictionary sitting about two feet away on a bookshelf, so i'll leave it at that...talk to you ppls later, i'm off to practice cello soon...cello lesson at 7:30; from there it's the pre-competition stress out/eat/relax/have fun/nap time!!!!!! :D

:: sqroot2 7/27/2001 06:55:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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well, guess i didn't get around to blogging yesterday about the day before yesterday. whoops!

tomorrow's symf, so i'm a little wired...edgy, maybe. still a lot to practice, a lot to refine, and then some, and after all that, no guarantees as to how well i will do. i really don't know what to expect. in the past i haven't entered either category that i'm going to compete in on saturday...er, tomorrow. sheesh that's soon. so my life today will consist of cello, cello lesson, and then some more cello. so--i'm going to leave today's post at this...i may post later. i'm in a cheery mood; i have my whole day planned out (see above). ciao, i'm off to practice cello!!!

bach suite no. 6 for cello, prelude: saturday, ~9:20
dvorak cello concerto, movement 1: saturday, ~11:05 (my estimates for the time)

i will rip the songs off cd and link them later today...if i get around to it...so that y'all can listen to the beautiful music that i'm going to play. there's that texas "y'all" again...tty'alll!

:: sqroot2 7/27/2001 12:00:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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just finished harbor final...and my post just got deleted. so i was going to blog about yesterday...will do that at home. b'bye ppls! the final was a breeeeze...

:: sqroot2 7/26/2001 10:05:00 AM [+] :: something to say? []
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happy! got to see vicky today. :) now THAT was fun!

do you know that slavery is still legal in the US under certain circumstances? Amendment 13, Section 1, which (by popular knowledge) outlaws slavery, reads

Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

note the boldface. that means that if a person has been convicted of some crime and is serving time in jail, he can be legally enslaved by the United States government in the institution in which he is serving time. i found that very interesting after dr. loiterman, my gov't teacher, explained it.

futhermore, there is an interesting bit about the amendments. the bill of rights, when first written, applied only to the federal level of legislature--Amendment 1 starts with the words "Congress shall make no law...". as written, the bill of rights limits only Congress's power to pass laws restricting certain rights. therefore, the states ARE NOT LIMITED IN ANY WAY; they do not have to grant any of the rights guaranteed by the bill of rights to the residents of the state--until the supreme court, or other court, makes rulings that force the states to grant the citizens the rights stated. this enforcement by court ruling is called incorporation. only two rights in the bill of rights have not been incorporated. one of the two unincorporated rights is in the second amendment: "...the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed". the states do not have to abide by this--the states MAY infringe upon the right of people to keep and bear arms. that's why there are gun laws in effect passed by EACH INDIVIDUAL STATE, NOT by the US government. and we thought the bill of rights protected us!

anyway. government is so cool! i like it!!!!!!! only two days left, that's good though--free mornings! whoopee...hmm. symf so soon, three practicing days left...aaaaaaah! my fingers hurt a little from practicing...that's not good...but that's ok. my eyes are dry. i'm going to go take a shower, listen to some music if i'm still awake, and then go to sleep. ah, sleep! i'd quote hamlet if i remembered it....no i don't. ok nevermind!

goodnight everybody! don't let the bedbugs bite!

:: sqroot2 7/24/2001 10:18:00 PM [+] :: something to say? []
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archived my posts in a personal archive....at harbor now.

:: sqroot2 7/24/2001 09:23:00 AM [+] :: something to say? []
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